Over the past few years, since I created SeekSlut Fuckbook our casual sex sites for fuck buddies … and since I’ve had some “private sex” success… I’ve been hearing more and more stories from my female
friends… and these stories are starting to alarm me.
I’m talking “book style” research here.
I went to the library, searched online, went to live seminars, met dating “gurus”… and generally tried to figure out if anyone ELSE had spent the time to figure this stuff out.
What I found was a “mixed bag” at best.
Some of the materials that I found sounded good, some of the stuff sounded completely ridiculous, and some sounded like it was ethically sketchy and manipulative.
Now, I’m an experimenter. I’ll try just about anything once.
And I did try ANYTHING.
One of the “mindsets” that I came across was something that sounded VERY interesting to me at the time.
It was the idea that a guy could make a woman
feel attraction and other sexual feelings for
him by saying things that contained “hidden
messages”… things that the woman would not
CONSCIOUSLY realize she was hearing… but
that would have the “desired effect” anyway.
On its face, this sounded rather manipulative,
but the rationalle was that it was just
“tapping into emotions that already existed”
inside of the woman… so it was “all good”.
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So I tried some of this stuff.
Like I said, I’ll try anything.
My own experience was that this material very
rarely worked. And it was never CONSISTENT
Ultimately, I wound up feeling like this stuff
just wasn’t an ethical fit for me. It was a
little “over the edge” of being dishonest.
Everyone has their own sense of right and
wrong, and after trying these things, I found
that they didn’t work for me… in the sense
that I didn’t like myself more after doing or
saying them… and they didn’t FEEL right.
It’s funny, because now that I teach men how
to meet women, I get questions all the time
that start with things like “I don’t want to
use the things you teach because I don’t want
to be MANIPULATIVE with women”.
Ironic, really. Mostly because I think of the
things I teach as being NON-manipulative.
And one of the things that I’ve realized is
that being honest with yourself, and honest
with women makes you feel like a better
And I think that the way you feel about
yourself determines so many things… from
your inner level of satisfaction with life…
to the level of trust others have for you when
they meet you.
As far as I’m concerned, the more CANDID and
HONEST you can be with yourself and others,
the more self-esteem and character you build
for the long-run.
I don’t want to start sounding like an ethics
professor or a philosopher, but let’s just say
that MORE HONEST is MORE BETTER.
BACK TO MY POINT…
The reason I tell you this story is because
the things that women have been telling me
lately are starting to really bum me out.
There are a lot of guys teaching various ways
to meet women right now… and some of them
are teaching dishonesty as a “main strategy”
And more and more guys I talk to are starting
to talk to me about very DARK ideas for meeting
women and getting dates.
Here’s the result…
I have one good female friend who recently
told me that she dated a guy a few times, and
that she recognized some “techniques” that he
was using with her.
She asked him STRAIGHT UP:
“Do you know who David DeAngelo is?”
Later, she went online and did a search using
his email address.
She found that this particular guy was someone
who posted in underground newsgroups about his
conquests with women.
Here’s the good part:
As she was reading through his various online
posts, she found stories written detailing
everything about his experiences with HER.
Even her exact words from emails she had
written to him… copied and pasted for the
world to see.
And, as you can imagine, he know EXACTLY who
David D. was.
And my favorite part…
He detailed how he used various lines, words,
and techniques to DECEIVE my friend, along
with several other women.
I have another female friend who is a very
social person… who meets a lot of people and
goes on a lot of dates.
A few times, she’s heard guys use phrases and
techniques that seem like they’ve obviously
been learned from me… so she asks them about
And guess what? Most of them DON’T OWN UP TO IT.
I mean, dude… it’s the 21st Century.
Women don’t care if you are working on learning
how to be better in this area of your life.
But they sure as hell care if you don’t have
the BALLS to be honest about it.
WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?
I have to say, I’m disappointed with this
current state of affairs.
More and more stories of guys using deliberate
lies and manipulation to get women into bed…
More and more stories of guys not being honest
with themselves and women, because they don’t
have the guts to take responsibility for their
It seems to me that some of us guys have taken
the idea of “learning cool tricks that help us
meet women” and let it turn into a kind of
“dark side” mindset of trickery, lies, and
It’s not cool.
You want to learn a cool new “pick up line”
or way to start a conversation… and try it
out a bunch of times in an evening, even
though it doesn’t feel “natural” to you?
Fine. Great, even.
Get outside your comfort zone, and have
You want to learn how to use hypnotism and
other tricks to get women turned on without
them being “consciously aware” of it?
OK, I can find a way to make that one make
sense… as long as it’s done with a sense
of integrity and healthy boundaries.
You want to lie to women, make up stories
about who you are and your experiences in
life… not own up to the truth… and
generally sell your soul to get laid?
Sorry, but that’s way over the line, and it’s
sacrificing your character in order to
selfishly take advantage of another person.
And when it turns into PREYING on women in
order to fulfill your selfish needs, then I
think you’re a dark, egotistical coward…
who deserves whatever bad things may befall
I am not a perfect person, and I don’t claim
to have never made a mistake in life… or
to never have had a sneaky or manipulative
thought… or never lied to someone.
But a mentor once taught me that something
CHANGES when you make the leap, and start
BEHAVING in dark ways… and then ACCEPTING
that type of thinking and behavior from yourself.
Further, I don’t think it’s NECESSARY to be
one of the “bad guys” in order to succeed
with women and succeed in life.
It’s OK to want to learn how to be more
successful with women.
It’s OK to study it, try new things, and
teach yourself this skill.
But I highly recommend that you stay honest,
you be up-front about what you’re doing with
women… and take responsibility for yourself
and your life.
I would honestly prefer that you not buy or
use any of my stuff if you’re planning to use
it in a dark, predatory way.
I realize that all of my friends who are into
marketing are going to tell me I’m stupid for
not closing this newsletter with a link to buy
my programs, but it doesn’t feel right. So if
you want to check them out, go find them on
I’ll talk to you in a couple of days.